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Sunday, 11 September 2016

A True Mask (2/2)

I've been trying everything I can to grow. Somehow, nothing seems to be working out.
Except me, though. I work out. A few things on my bucket list are learning to cook, getting good grades and mastering the art of Henna. No, I am not just going downhill when it comes to my grades, but I am beyond burying myself. I tried the kitchen yesterday, all I did was waste a few eggs and regret trying my luck at all. About the Henna bit, well, not Instagram worthy yet.
I decided to talk to a stranger one more (perhaps last) time and got connected to an Indian M who was all about parties, and just "chillin' wid frndz"  you know? Sarosh. He said he was glad to have talked to me and that I was "different". I don't know why, but that hurt. I find it so difficult to accept that some one could genuinely think I was unique, and almost went "Hey wait let me explain! I'm just ordinary and you don't need to compliment me to get to my Skype!" But that's just not it. I always wonder why I do things like block 300+ followers off my Instagram and why having an audience of 1K gets me paranoid! Yet I look at other teenagers and wonder how they have all these subscribers on YouTube and why I can't offer content as good as theirs.
Different, aren't we all?
Doesn't that essentially make us the same?

"I'm normal"
"Give a man a mask, and he will show you his true face."
Since I've been finding it difficult to feel homely with anyone lately, I was surprised at the number of people on Omegle who feel the same. I wonder if I ever chatted with someone I know and shared more with them anonymously than I would in real life...

Friday, 9 September 2016

Transience (1/2)

I am an extremely lazy texter, and rarely find anyone of my interest to commit to. And whaddaya know! Omegle to the rescue! I think that what makes a person who they are, and who others are not, are the places they've been to, people they've interacted with, and moments they endured which they could only accept and embrace in silence. I've connected to the least likely domains, one even being a morgue technician. (Uh, our mutual filter "Science" did the honors.) I am not one to pounce onto a/s/l, but he did end the life-altering conversation by telling me that I could remember him as Valo. Most certainly that was not the most memorable segment of the conversation. He shared photographs of a case a 16 year-old boy that touched him deeply, and asked me to guess the cause of his untimely decease. With all the fatal adventures my best friend Kevin and his younger brother shared together in mind, it was only likely that the boy was accidentally deprived of breath while playing with his younger brother. And it was. The two were beyond amused by a video of teenagers blood-choking each other and wanted to try it out themselves. The older brother, lost a life. The younger, an older brother. I saved our chat log for a time when I am less humble and forget about how short life is.



I actually started writing this as a tribute to another chat I had last night, but oh well, look where this headed... To be continued!

Thursday, 1 September 2016

2 Cool 4 School

Almost fourteeen years later, today, we wore a new uniform at school. Yay!? It was ridiculous at first sight and the more I looked at everyone around me, the lesser I wanted to be seen in an attire like that! It was far from stylish, not even something you would keep to convert into pyjama wear, but I do enjoy that the back of our jacket reads "CSK". I've always seen proud Oxford graduates flaunt their hoodies that speak so loudly about where they're from. Putting aside all the pressure and emotional trauma we are facing in our final year, this school has given me the most beautiful childhood I could ever ask for. I haven't simply made best friends, but also the worst of enemies in disguise of them, through which I have learnt how easy it is to love others just simply by being oblivious to their flaws... I wish I could slow down time for a while, rewind a little and live some moments again like I never did before. Guess you only realize the value of something once its gone...